Successful leaders are found to score highly on emotional intelligence. Some studies claim that 90% of leadership effectiveness is directly attributable to a persons’ EI. “We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other.” Daniel Goleman.
In simple terms, then, what does Emotional Intelligence mean? It is made up of four component parts.
1. Self awareness – the ability to understand yourself and your drivers of behaviour. What values and beliefs do you have that contribute to your interpretation of events? What assumptions do you make based on your own experiences, good or bad or those who have influenced your life?
2. Self-management. Our own understanding allows us to recognise and then choose how we behave. Responses are not automatic and we can, if we are aware, manage our reactions and our emotions. Self-management includes taking back power.
3. Awareness of others. Once you are able to understand your own emotions and behaviour, you have the ability to understand others, their drivers, values and beliefs.
4. Relationship Management. All of the above lead to successful relationship management, building skills of empathy and communication, key to inspiring people to higher performance and achievement.
The Week: Well, another first. I finally activated my You Tube account and loaded some videos! I even managed to automatically connect them to Twitter and Facebook. http://youtu.be/PV_wv5-hUOQ
On Monday I attended an HR Roundtable on the future of HR and Tuesday and Wednesday saw me joining the commuters on their journeys to London. I have applied and been accepted as an Associate for a couple of larger consultancies. This is worthwhile since they have the channel to market. I also have proof that networking really works, as someone I connected with, recommended me for some work which I won! I am facilitating a workshop on change management and delivering a project identifying customer requirements in the retail sector. Everyone I have connected with have shown such support and delight in my good fortune that I feel thoroughly spoilt. On Friday I went to the launch of the 4N networking group. A very large turnout which highlights the success of their formula. Everyone introduces themselves for 40 seconds and then has a chance for 3 1- minute 1-2-1s. £10 for the breakfast and various membership fee rates. www.4networking.biz/
Recommended Reading: This week I have been reading Wendy Dashwood-Quick’s book “Discover Yourself On The Yellow Brick Road – 7 core principles of career success”. Wendy writes about “getting out of your own way” to forge a successful career and peace of mind. There is solid advice, hands-on exercises and case studies to help you answer the question “what is getting in the way of your success?” It had me rushing to clear my desk – read it to find out why!
Lighter Reflections. There are management books, seminars and training sessions on some fundamental challenges that we do not seem to have a problem with during our normal everyday lives. I listened to a talk about our “Fear of the phone” in making business calls. The speaker pointed out by getting all of us to pick up our phones and dial our nearest and dearest that we don’t in actual fact have a fear of the phone itself! There are similar challenges in learning to delegate, yet my husband points out to me that I appear to have no problem in constructing most of my sentences along the lines of “I must………. and we can……….so that you will…..” whenever there is a task to do. I of course dispute this, as most wives will agree that the question “Do you think you could…?” is firmly attached to the later response of “I didn’t get round to it”. James also points out that I have a way of enquiring if he has done something, by asking someone else – e.g. I will come home and ask the dog “Have you been for a walk today?” within earshot of hubby. So if we have these natural and easy ways of delegating with our loved ones, why do we struggle with delegating to our teams. Could it be that we believe we will always do a superior job? That we wish to remain in control? Or that if someone else does it, they will realise how easy it is and perhaps we aren’t the super-duper wizardly expert we portray?
Then, what is it about a “business” call that causes our vocal cords to restrict and only emit a high-pitched yelping sound? That is once we have managed to sidle up to the phone, snatch it up and glare at it whilst dialling a prospect’s number. If we imagined it was our errant child on the other end who didn’t understand the value of the good meal we were cooking instead of the fast food he wanted. Would we have a problem? Possibly not, although I advise against taking this imagery too far as you may end up scolding your prospect for not listening and demanding they go to bed at once with no tea!
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